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MAT's Journal

9th February, 2003. 4:31 pm.

life's ok at the minute, things are settling down, and for once im actually doing something on valentines day. The talk at college seems to be mostly about michael jackson, either that or iraq and how everyones fucking things up even more and how all parties involved are being retarded on the subject. Yada yada, i'm trying to keep my nose out of it, as far too often it results in questions of political belief, which is something far too many people get the wrong idea about, probably because i believe that communism is the ideal state, and the majority of people seem to think that Stalin is what communism was about and fail to realise that the USSR of old was almost as far as possible from what Marx talked of.

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5th December, 2002. 6:54 pm.

well, lifes looking up but ive got a strangely bad feeling about things, im now officially going out with anne, but something just doesnt seem right, like somethings missing almost, i also need to go christmas shopping and plan my new years

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24th November, 2002. 11:42 am.

ive realised that the last week has probably been the most important to me in my life, last sunday was the biggest shock i've ever had, it was one bitch slap of a wake up call, a txt at 9pm from madi telling me she just cut her wrist, that just freaked me out, i had about two hours sleep for the next 4 days, she was okay, it wasnt deep, it was just the pills she'd been prescribed with fucked her up, but it was just such a shock, closest i've been to crying for years, to be honest i'm surprised i didnt cry, she's one of my closest friends.
Then things started happening with Anne, which was nice, except now the entire college seems to know, even though nothing has actually happened, mainly due to her ex being a dick causing her to be really cautious, and ive decided the weekend is too long coz im really missing her at the minute.

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8th November, 2002. 6:29 pm.

You Were Meant For Me, such a sweet song, Im finding some real empathy there, weird, never thought i'd find that in country

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26th October, 2002. 9:13 am. madi

last nite i was on a college trip, set of 4:15, get back 1:00, i was getting on great with madi, we had a laugh, like u do on the coach, then she started prying at things which i didnt want to tell her, anyway after the show we had a couple of drinks,i was a bit drunk, i hadnt eaten all day, but on the way back she kept prying, so i told her if she didnt pry now, id tell her a secret when we got off the bus and back to college, and i did, and now things are so fucked up, i told her i fancied her to her face, and i just dont know what her reaction was, seemed rilly shocked though, and here was me thinking shed worked it out ages ago, then a few minutes later i walked away and went home, and now i feel like shit, an honest shit, but still shit

Current mood: like shit.

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26th October, 2002. 9:13 am. madi

last nite i was on a college trip, set of 4:15, get back 1:00, i was getting on great with madi, we had a laugh, like u do on the coach, then she started prying at things which i didnt want to tell her, anyway after the show we had a couple of drinks,i was a bit drunk, i hadnt eaten all day, but on the way back she kept prying, so i told her if she didnt pry now, id tell her a secret when we got off the bus and back to college, and i did, and now things are so fucked up, i told her i fancied her to her face, and i just dont know what her reaction was, seemed rilly shocked though, and here was me thinking shed worked it out ages ago, then a few minutes later i walked away and went home, and now i feel like shit, an honest shit, but still shit

Current mood: like shit.

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21st October, 2002. 6:35 pm.

my cowboy bebop theme song is pushing the sky

what's your cowboy bebop theme song?

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3rd October, 2002. 6:44 pm.

help, mucho nervousness, promised some1 id go as a schoolgirl 4 st trinians day 2moz 4 charity, but im not sure if i can get the wig, ohshit

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28th September, 2002. 3:18 pm.

What is it about women who play instruments being very attractive?

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21st September, 2002. 7:54 pm.

any idea on how to seduce a pop star?

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